Gender norms in relationships have been slowly changing. From who pays for dates to who does the housework, expectations are getting shifted. But one tradition remains largely intact — that men propose to women. Why aren’t more women doing the proposing? And what does it look like when they do? Our team was asked to be the Proposal Experts on a Huffington Post Live episode looking at this topic of women proposing to men. Here are some helpful tips and things to think about for women looking to propose to their boyfriends:
Is He Right For It?
Is your boyfriend the type of guy who would be happy with switching this gender norm around? Some men consider themselves to be more progressive in their ideas of gender roles and would be comfortable with this. But many men feel that proposing is an important part of their role as boyfriend/fiancé, and would be put off by the woman asking the question.
Re-Proposing
Perhaps your boyfriend has already popped the big question, but you want a way to show your love and commitment in return. Some women opt to go for a re-proposal — sure he’s already proposed, but you can still put together a special, romantic moment and take your turn telling him just how much he means to you and how excited you are to spend your life with him.
Why Are You Proposing?
It is important to be aware of why you are choosing this unusual route and proposing to your boyfriend. Have you talked over gender issues and your level of your commitment with your boyfriend and are confident that you both see eye to eye? Then go for it! Are you proposing simply because he hasn’t yet and you want to get the ball rolling on the wedding? Be careful! He might not have proposed because he isn’t ready for marriage yet. And in that case, pressuring him by taking the reins and proposing could lead to disaster!
Will You Regret It?
Will you look back and wish you had given him the chance to sweep you off your feet in a romantic proposal? Or resent him for not doing the work of the proposal? You really need to do some soul-searching here and ask yourself these important questions. If the answer is yes, you shouldn’t do it.
Do You Know What the Answer Will Be?
This one is for guys and girls! For any proposal, you should be confident that your partner will say yes before you propose. Talking about your relationship and ensuring that both of you are on the same page when it comes to your commitment level and ideas about the future is a very important first step for anyone hoping to get engaged. And don’t think that having this conversation take away from the surprise of the proposal — it doesn’t! It will only make the proposal and your continuing relationship smoother and more rewarding.
How To Propose To Your Boyfriend
If you have decided that this is a good decision for you and you do want to propose to your boyfriend, you are probably asking yourself, “How do I propose?” Because there have been far fewer proposals to men as there have been to women, there really isn’t a lot of advice out there about proposal ideas for your boyfriend. One important tip here is to keep it masculine. Most men aren’t going to go ga-ga over a room filled with roses. You will have to be creative and think of a way to propose in a romantic way without it seeming to feminine.
Watch this video here showing how Star proposed to her boyfriend using a Flash Mob. Or check out this blog here and see a much simpler proposal where Nikki proposed to her man outside of a Cher concert.
When planning a proposal to your boyfriend, you are really going to want to know what type of proposal he would like. Because this is so untraditional, he may not want to be proposed to in a public manner. On the flipside, he might embrace how untraditional this is and think it is super sexy that his girlfriend is proposing to him. He may want to show it off to the world and in that case, go all out with a public proposal.
Hire A Proposal Planner
If you are a woman looking to propose to your boyfriend, but are unsure of how to go about it, we can help. Contact the proposal experts at The Heart Bandits, and we’ll help you create the perfect proposal for your wonderful man! When planning a proposal, there are so many things to consider and it is important to craft the perfect team so that your proposal goes off without a hitch.
Maggie Tietz