As an owner of The Heart Bandits, I’ve come across almost every type of question about marriage proposals. We get the typical questions about how to propose in a romantic ways. We also get the more extravagant ones like how to propose at a public concert. One of the most common questions I tend to see though is How To Include Family Into Your Proposal.
I totally get it and I think it’s great! While there are those couples that want to have their marriage proposals only include themselves, there are many other couples that have very strong ties to their family. They therefore want to make sure that their family is either watching them pop the question or somehow directly involved. At the very least they usually want them to be nearby so they can celebrate with them after.
Since we’ve been in this business a long time I do think there are many things to keep in mind if you’re considering incorporating your family into your engagement.
Perks of Having Family There
There are many perks to having family at your marriage proposal. Obviously if you are very close to your family and they love your partner, this almost seems like a no-brainer. In these cases, if you have your family at your proposal, they will get to experience the joy that you experience when your partner says yes!
The family can even help you come up with a perfect proposal idea! Imagine that you are stuck and can’t figure out the perfect way to propose. At this point, using her family as a resource is a great option! Maybe they can tell you about the way she envisioned she would get proposed to when she was a little girl. You can then recreate that fantasy for her with your real proposal.
Additionally, we’ve often seen that if family is involved then they’ll want to help one way or another. This can either mean helping financially by taking care of some aspect of the proposal like the decorations, photos, or food or just by being there as an emotional support system. Either way, they can be a great resource to lean on when you’re getting nervous on the day-of or need help with an element.
Dangers of Having Family Involved
Now don’t think that there are no pitfalls with having family there. There are two main concerns that we’ve seen that you need to keep in mind.
The first is that family may interject into your proposal plan in a way that you may not like. Imagine for instance that you think you have the perfect proposal idea and you want your family there. You tell them your proposal idea but they are not thrilled about it. They tell you that they all think you should do it in a different way that you don’t want to do it in. How much of a bummer would that be?!
The second is that they’ll most likely know your proposal plan. In this case there is more of a chance that they’ll somehow spill the beans and tip off your partner. They may not even say it directly but if they somehow act differently around your partner, then that may throw her off and alert her spidey-sense that something is about to happen.
No matter how much you love your family, you definitely need to ask yourself early on should you have family in your proposal. If the answer is yes, then consider the options below.
Surprise Proposals with Family
If you want to have a surprise marriage proposal this is one of the most important parts of your engagement plan. Having family involved makes it a little more difficult to keep a surprise. If they manage to keep it a secret, then it will be really awesome because they’ll enjoy being a part of it so much. In our opinion, it’s best to keep as much of the details of your proposal plan to yourself as possible. If you want family to be watch, maybe just tell them where they need to be at and at what time. If you don’t tell them much else, then they’ll experience the surprise as much as your partner.
Examples of Proposals Ideas that Include Family
Family Proposals at Home
If family is really important to you, then having your proposal at home makes a lot of sense. You can even tell your partner that family will be coming over so that she thinks it’s a typical family gathering. You can then have beautiful proposal decorations, a musician singing your song, or a video slideshow playing when she arrives and you proposal. The fact that your family is there will only make it more special and you can all celebrate together.
Another option is possible if your partner has family that lives far away. Create the surprise of a lifetime by inviting them over! After your proposal your partner will be in total shock that her beloved grandmother that she hasn’t seen in 10 years is there!
Hiding Spot for Family
Many of our clients that want family around tend to want them close by but not actually circling around during the actual proposal moment. In these instances, it’s best to have a proposal where there is a hiding spot for them. Check out venues that have easy hiding areas for family. Some examples of venues we’ve worked with include halls with lofts where family has hid upstairs or beaches and parks that have plants and bushes that family can hide behind. These options have the benefit that they can see it all happening realtime and then immediately pop out after to come congratulate you two!
Cover Story
If your proposal venue doesn’t have good hiding area then an option you may want to consider is not having your family hide at all. Instead, they work with you by using a cover story. Say for example, you have rented a private room at a restaurant and have it completely decked out with decorations for your proposal. Tell your family about it and they can tell your partner that they were the ones that made the dinner plans. They can even play it off more so by pretending to be running late. Your partner will think nothing of it and will just assume it’s a regular family gathering. She’ll be completely shocked when she finds out that you orchestrated the entire thing and managed to incorporate her family.
Watching from Camera, or Live Stream
There are a couple of other options if there is no good hiding place and you don’t want family at the actual proposal location. The first is you can have a camera setup in the room and a video feed show up in a control room where the family can be watching it happen live. Similarly, if your family lives far away, you might consider live streaming your proposal so that all your family members from around the world can watch as it’s happening.
How Can The Heart Bandits Help?
If you want to know how to include family into your proposal or another kind of unique proposal idea with your family, make sure to contact the proposal experts at The Heart Bandits. We have helped over 3,000 clients in over 9 years pop the question with style. Here are some reasons you might want to hire a Proposal Planner to help you plan a proposal that includes your family:
- You want to ensure that the proposal goes very smooth in front of your family and friends
- You need help creating a proposal idea that is unique and truly represents your relationship
- You don’t have the time or the resources to plan the proposal idea you love
- You need help figuring out how to get all of the family involved without blowing the secret
- You want the family and friends to feel included but you are not sure how involved they should be
- You are worried your family might takeover the proposal and you will lose your voice
