Should you have friends and family in your proposal? Photo courtesy of Rebecca Yale Photography

Should you have friends and family in your proposal? Photo courtesy of Rebecca Yale Photography

A marriage proposal is an intimately personal event, designed to celebrate two people and the intense relationship between them. However, no man is an island, and there is no reason why a proposal has to be limited to just the two of you- either in the planning, or in the execution. The inclusion of friends and family is an amazing option to have, but should be carefully considered, since it may not always be the perfect choice.  Should You Include Family in A Surprise Proposal?

Pros to Including Family In A Surprise Proposal

The benefits of calling on her relatives and close friends, either in the planning or in the performance of the proposal, are many. For one thing, those closest to her will probably know things about her hopes and preferences that you haven’t discovered yet. She may even have confided her ideas about the perfect proposal to one of her friends or sisters. You can draw on their knowledge and memories to augment your own.  See how Bryan included Heather’s family and friends in a surprise proposal followed by a surprise wedding.

If you choose to include them in the proposal itself, then you have an opportunity to create an instant air of celebration and inclusion. They can not only play a practical role in the proposal- holding signs, playing music, or even just being present, but also show that your sweetheart’s nearest and dearest support her and welcome the proposal and everything it implies.

Cons

On the downside however, old feuds can be ignited by including family members, and you may not have the knowledge or experience with her family to navigate the treacherous waters. It’s possible that your beloved might be hurt that she was the last to know about the proposal and may not appreciate all the watching eyes. In fact, she may feel overly pressured by the eager spectators, which is something you would never want her to feel. If she is shy, she may prefer a quiet one-on-one proposal and then a chance to share the news in a controlled way.

The approach you take must, as always, be tailored to your girlfriend. Whether you decide to use her best friend as a sounding board, call in the entire clan, or propose in secret will depend on what she would want and what you know will bring her the most joy.

If you need more help planning a surprise proposal, read this article here.

Should You Include Family in A Surprise Proposal?  To ensure that you make the best call on the amount of family and friend participation, without letting the cat out of the bag by asking her, consider calling The Heart Bandits. We can help you call in just the right amount of reinforcements to create the perfect proposal.  Hire us today!

Marvin